Welcome to the Jungle: Balmain SS17 Review

Out of the palm trees emerged the glorious, beautiful, exquisitely dressed recruits of the Balmain Army – welcome to the motherf-ckin’ jungle. This is the jungle I wouldn’t mind getting lost in with streams of suede, an array of waist-cinching belts, lashings of python skin and stacks of towering wedges…as opposed to the Bear Grylls kind with mosquitos and maggots and starvation. The colour palette was very natural with khakis and dark nudes but with pops of jewel tones, because this is Balmain SS17.

Balmain SS17

Balmain SS17

Kim K-W turned up to the show in what can only be described as a crocheted body stocking – a similar one can be found in your local sex shop but it won’t be crocheted…or Balmain. This should have been a little hint as to what was coming – the skirts may have been long but the sex was still there. If these outfits get you heated, See watchmygf adult and never look back again. Crotch-high splits, cut outs, sheer fabric and strategically placed mesh reminded us that this was not your average safari attire.

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I love the combination of bodysuits with floor length skirts e.g the python body with the khaki suede skirt with pockets, with a brown python belt holding it all in (although the model has nothing to hold in…*sigh* genetic lottery). The other look I’m dying over and is making me feel some type of way is Doutzen’s look with her sheer body, silver trousers and matching sleeveless floor-length coat – fabulous, sassy and a whole lot of fire.

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Also I’m confused my the shoes. Because I love a lot of them, and I’m wondering if Balmain will actually sell these (because Balmain’s previous track record of heels has been rather disappointing).

One thing was missing though – where were the minidresses!? Those fire, structured minidresses drowning in embellishment and at least 3kgs – I missed them. Was this my favourite Balmain show of late? No. Would I still smack a bitch for the Python skin coat and the python print cut out body? Yes. You win some, you lose some, but I’ll always find something in Balmain.

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What did you think of the Balmain SS17 show?


Be So Versailles.

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